The Scoop Archives
Amazingly Naked
Funny how the world works. I’ve been through another whirlwind of events in the last 6 months, to stretch my soul to have the next human experience of my existence. From a break up, move, death, and job loss there wasn’t much left that could shock my system. However, the breaking point didn’t actually arrive until my car broke down and I was unable to reach anyone on my first few attempts. In those few moments, I felt completely alone as the cars whizzed by and the buses were honking as I was “parked” in the bus stop. I’ll admit it - I snapped and the range of emotions was a crazy roller-coaster.
There’s always THAT moment. You know, the moment when you realize in the toughest of times or even the best of times, just who your friends are and it’s this perspective that helps to divide them into categories. I call it weeding the garden. Just as you need to weed a real garden to make room for more goodness to bloom, you must do the same with your garden of people, places and things in your life.
My “Ah-Ha” in that moment of feeling completely alone, was that the Universe was helping me with that process while facing adversity. The landscape of my life may look like a tornado had ripped through it - and trust me there are times when it feels like it - but what’s so great about it is that I get to rebuild and re-invent myself. If we hold on too tight to something or many things - that’s when life can seem tragic - when we won’t let go of what no longer serves our souls purpose and the evolution of our human experience.
With a clean slate, I have nothing BUT opportunity to go DO, BE and HAVE anything I want. I’m no longer in desperation to make a relationship work just because we love each other - it’s not enough. I’m no longer trying to conform to a particular corporate structure that feels more like organized crime, as it smothered every ounce of my creativity - just because I LOVE the entertainment industry. It’s not necessary to compromise WHO WE ARE to have the experience we want - you’ll see that when you do compromise your bottom line - it’s not the experience you want anyway! It takes on a whole new form and we feel like we’re dying a little inside just to keep these things.
I held on tightly to those things out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of losing everything - even when I had nothing to lose and fear of not knowing what’s next. I get caught in the trap of my mind thinking about the past and worrying about the future that has not even arrived. When I am able to snap myself back to the moment, it’s pretty damn good to see that I’m alright.
My nature has always been that of a lone wolf. It can be lonely sometimes...but I choose to stand in my truth and not conform to the pack of society. It took a long time for me to accept that it’s okay to be alone...although not always lonely. It’s also okay to shift in jobs to find what I’m passionate about as a career. It’s okay to be who I am and not everyone has to like me. It really is okay.
I am surrounded by amazing people - great support from friends and family. They don’t always agree with my choices because it’s not what they would choose for themselves but that’s what love really is - allowing.
The point is...We are never really alone and we really have nothing to lose. When it feels like we have been brought to our knees, it’s only to take time to be thankful for the experience and prepare to rise again.
On this Thanksgiving weekend, I am deeply grateful for the experience of my life.
I am grateful to the ones with whom I have given a chance for my heart to break, for because of this I have known love.
I am grateful to the bumps and potholes in the rocky road of where I have laid my dreams. Even Dorothy and Toto were caught in the tornado that led them to the Yellow Brick Road.
You see, another moment has arrived...And I’m going to quote one of my favorite songs here. “It’s Amazing...When the moment arrives that you know you’ll be alright”.
There will be many more moments where I drop to my knees and rise again and I think it’s pretty cool. That’s what it feels like to LIVE while you follow your hearts calling.
Time for my next adventure...I’m walking through the door. :)
Not Crazy…Just a Little Unwell
Charlie Sheen seems to be making headlines in the least desirable way as of late. What I find fascinating are the fans turned Charlie bashers that are so quick to judge on his current state of madness. People are adamant that he should be more appreciative for it’s his fans that put him in the spotlight and that he’s alienating them with his antics. Really? If you want to take responsibility for his rise to fame, how about taking the responsibility for the “crazy fence” he’s been sitting on for the last year? I mean c’mon, gotta take the good with the bad – you helped put him there…Right?
Let’s face it, we’ve all got shit in our lives and we’ve all made some poor decisions. Heck, some of us have even been through events in our lives that would be scandalous had we been in the public eye of scrutiny. Yeah, yeah I know – celebrities have a certain level of responsibility to the fans because they’re role models…Blah, blah. Blah… Well, let’s break it down. They are people that have chosen acting, music, politics, or whatever as their chosen profession. They get up; go to work, pay bills, mortgages and child support. They live a charmed life in a lot of ways but also endure hardships and pay the price like any other does.
A dear friend of mine tells me that she likes the “smoke and mirrors” of certain celebrities. I get it – the illusion is beautiful and feels good, but this is what society does; we take a human being and make them Gods, then they don’t live up to our ideal of what we think they should be, we condemn them for all their living days left on earth. The judgment lingers – it’s never forgotten – even when or if they get back to our version of “normal”.
We all have a breaking point. We’ve all been judged. We’ve all been cast aside from certain people because we don’t fit in. We all know people that have had struggles with addictions, depression, broken hearts, losing their homes and money and simply trying to find their way in the world. We’ve all made poor decisions and have wanted to move on from them and not look back - but what happens when you put attention on something? It grows into something bigger and it can fester into something ugly.
We are responsible for ourselves and what we put out INTO the world. Whether that is love or fear - and we often fear what we don’t understand. I sometimes struggle with the whole judgment thing too, so understand that I’m not passing judgment on those who judge. I’m just wondering out loud what our world would be like if we showed more compassion for others and ourselves. We are all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got at any given time.
Chuck may look like a crazy man because we cannot clearly understand the pains of his soul. Forget about him for a minute and just remember a time when it felt like the only one that understood you – was you. Regardless of what you said, did, or the hoops you jumped through to make someone else understand your angst, no one seemed to get it. That feeling of being alone is enough to make any man or woman bonkers.
In todays world, may we all find peace in the craziness of our trials and tribulations and hope for everyone else to mind their own business.
Spring Fever
Have you ever felt like a caged animal? Pacing back and forth in its entrapment - hungry and yearning for a bigger and freer landscape but, all that keeps coming back is the animal trainer with scraps of food? I go back and forth from feeling like that caged tiger to a horse in a race when the bell goes off but, my gate won’t open and I’m climbing over myself to get out of it so I can at least get in the race!
Yes, I just compared myself to two animals. Needless to say, I’m feeling a little cooped up. I think part of my current state of frustration is where I physically sit in my life - it feels like purgatory. I’m still living in the same house as my ex - and for the record, I dislike that word - so, to be more respectful of who he is to me, I will refer to him as my friend.
I still live with my “friend”. He just left on another trip to Hawaii and I had a hard time watching him leave. Our relationship is shifting and I’m still sitting here watching my “old life” go on without me. I’m no longer part of his family or his group of friends and if I’m truly honest with myself, I’m not sure how much I ever was. I mean I did my best to participate but I never really felt like I fit in and they’ve all quickly forgotten about me. Which happens in break-ups – people chose and move on. So, I’m watching my old life that I never fit into go on without me. That’s f*cked up. And I care… Why does my heart get a little tinge of ache when I want to move forward with what the Universe has in store for me?
The second part of purgatory is the state of flux my career seems to be in. I’m ready for new exciting adventures. I interviewed for a job that I really wanted and made it to the final three and after three very long weeks of waiting, word arrived that I was not chosen as the successful candidate. For one day, I was devastated. For another week or so I questioned myself and believed they had made a mistake…but, since then I have let it go. It’s not for me to decide. There is something better coming so I’m told and I eagerly wait for what that could possibly be.
I’m very grateful for these frustrating scenarios for I don’t NEED anything. Although, I’m still living with my ‘friend’ and there are times it tugs on my heart when I allow myself to feel the shift of who we are to one another now, he has been gracious enough to allow me to stay. Although it sounds altruistic, we want the best for the other and we are still loving and respectful and provide unwavering support. *Blessed*
I have a job that allows me to live my passion and PAYS me for it, so I don’t NEED a job. Granted, it feels like I’ve outgrown certain aspects of the job itself and I’m looking for growth, expansion, creative expression – more of me – but I have a kick ass job that some people would do anything to be a part of. *Blessed*
I believe that we should be careful what we wish for as it might not come in the form we ask for it. I might want for certain things but, I don’t need for anything. I’m grateful for what I have, for the charmed life I get to live. I’m grateful that the Universe saves my ass with people and situations that bless me with their presence in the world. I am loved.
With all of this in mind and expressing it here on this page, I already feel the internal shift that moves me ever so gently out of purgatory and gracefully eases into the next phase of my being. It's a process and I'm going to get out of it what I put into it. I'm fully immersed.
January 2011
No Regrets, Just a Change in Plans
Dreams, Goals, Love and Letting Go
What a year…What a decade! It’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride but, brilliant nonetheless. There has been joy, love, loss, depression, finding strength where there was none and standing in my truth. One thing is for certain, as fearful as I can be sometimes, I am not afraid to experience whatever it is that I am sitting smack dab in the middle of at the moment – it’s just getting to that moment that scares the crap out of me.
The last decade has been peppered with pink elephants (obvious issues unaddressed), wolves in sheep’s clothing (people with hidden agendas) and birds on a wire (finding ways to be free).
2010 in particular seemed to have sense of completion to some degree. I feel that it’s been one of the best years for my spiritual growth and awareness of self. The events of last year caused me to closely look at how I contribute not only to realizing my dreams but how I contribute - or don't - to those of others. Knowing when to bow out and make room for something else has been the challenge. My astrological sign is a Cancer and like the crab with its pincers, we’re known to hold onto things much longer than we should.
I held onto fighting for a piece of property that I didn’t really want but, because I was so invested financially I couldn’t let it go. I tried to sell it, rent it out; I even wished that it would burn to the ground so I could be released from it. Holding on to it so that I could avoid what seemed to be the only UNDESIRABLE solution – let it go into foreclosure. What would it mean about me? Am I a failure? How can I stop this from happening?
Those same pincers had a firm grasp in my relationship as well because, I was so emotionally invested. What do you do when you have such a deep love for someone, yet your goals and dreams are out of alignment? Everything else is groovy – you get along well, laugh, support and encourage each other – it’s almost perfect. Almost...One can only avoid the pink elephant in the room before it begins to shift the energy and resentment begins to settle in for a visit. How do you stop something in going from lovely to loathly? Am I not good enough? How do I save this? I thought this was true love.
What I’ve learned about those two things is this; sometimes you have to let go.
WHAT??? I only know how to hold on and give it all I’ve got…until there’s nothing left to give. This quality is my friend and foe, working with me and against me. When I decide to do something, I’m committed. That’s a good thing…right?
There are deal breakers for everything and it can throw a real wrench into the plans you’ve made. Sometimes, it just means that there needs to be a re-routing of sorts - to meet the goals in realizing your dreams. The key to this is having faith that it’s all in the master plan. Its human nature to want what we want but, I’ll allow the Rolling Stones to inject wisdom here…“sometimes you get what you need.” It’s learning to be ok with what we’re given.
So, I’m letting go and allowing the Universe to work its master plan. I’m allowing the fates to unfold with the condo, knowing that I will never be without a home. In the truest form of love, wanting for “him” what he wants for himself, and being ok that his plans don’t include me.
I have not failed…I have triumphed over my fears and I’m getting out of my own way. This is the path I am meant to walk, I’ve taken chances on life and love – and I will take a few more I’m sure.
I picked up a bottle of wine particularly for what it was named – Shot In The Dark. There’s a little note on the back that I’m choosing as my mantra for 2011.
“Life has its ups and downs. It can be both brutal and beautiful. You can hole yourself away to avoid life’s pain, but then the beauty seldom finds its way in. It’s only when you attempt to go where you cannot go, or do what you cannot do, that you can achieve what you are truly capable of doing. Sure you might tumble. You might fall. So what? Take a chance. Go way out on the limb. Dare to try – even if it’s just a shot in the dark.
Happy 2011 to you! I wish you a year of taking shots in the dark and for them to bring brilliant bursts of light to your life. Be free and take chances, live, love and let go.
See Through
I recently worked with Don Burnstick, a Cree from the Alexander Nation, sober for 25 years addictions counsellor and super funny comedian. He brings laughter as a healing modality and shedding some light with his profound transparency on the Native culture. I liked Don immediately after meeting him as anyone would. He’s charismatic, gracious, down right funny and very willing to share the pains from his past. He speaks openly about the issues which persist with his people from addiction, abuse, relationships and belief systems. When I listened to Don tell the tale through conversation or when he takes the stage, I can clearly feel with an open heart the healing of that which he speaks of. It’s honesty, pure and simple. He calls it out as we all see it, brings it to centre stage and sheds light on the darkness of those pains with humour. It got me to thinking...
Transparency = nothing to hide because when we hide nothing we are open to life’s experiences. Yet, I wonder how many people – myself included – understand what it means to do that wholeheartedly. It’s a way of living and BEING that takes practice and fine honing skills of becoming aware of self and letting go of fear.
We all have little secrets, skeletons, things we hide and live in the illusion that if we share it with the world we’ll be ridiculed, burned at the stake, plastered all over Facebook, or even worse…UNACCEPTED. When we hide things, thoughts, actions, we deny a part of our presence to the world.
There’s something else that happens with those in your life when you’re keeping secrets. Eventually, it all makes its way to the surface and then cause and effect take on a whole new meaning. Keeping secrets creates a lack of authenticity in the relationship with loved ones and with self which takes us back to denying our presence…UGH…It’s a wicked circle isn’t it??
I came out of the closet of shame a couple of months ago when I shared my secret of financial despair after finding out that the banks were not going to re mortgage my home. The responses I received were overwhelming! It brought others “out of the closet” as well and we collectively understood that there is no shame in transparency. That action of sharing set me free from the emotional prison that I had kept myself in. FREE!
I recently shared another “secret” with some friends and family. To some it’s completely incomprehensible and yet to me it’s what’s normal. I remember as far back as a child at 4 years old being connected to life on the “other side”. I was always afraid to tell people that I had the same conversations with those whom have passed, as I do with those that exist in my physical world. It is kind of weird if you’re a skeptic and it creates a lot of space for criticism and mockery but I was getting a gentle shove in the direction that it was time for me to begin sharing the things that were coming to me – so I did. You know what? That secret brought into the open became a gift of PEACE for someone else.
We hide things only because we are afraid. We’re afraid of being found out and ostracized by what makes us different. So what? You’re a complete and whole being of the Universe and extension of the Creator. You are perfect as you are – skeletons and all.
We keep secrets because we’re afraid of hurting others. Well, change the behaviour if you think it’s not in alignment with who you are, or who you want to be in order to create the life you want. We all have a moral compass that guides us. Trust it. Use it – it’s your gift from the Universe.
Do I think it’s that simple? Maybe…Maybe not. I guess it depends on the individual desire and courageousness to be In Truth. Maybe it starts with one conversation at a time - then the space is created for healing to begin and for authentic relationships to transpire.
Transparency = Clarity = Freedom=Peace. I’m down with that.
Sit. Breathe. Scream.
Last month I said that I would sit and learn to be still if only momentarily and see what happens. I was going within...Well, sometimes going within means letting it all out. As soon as I committed to a change in pattern, the Universe started having a field day.
The first week was okay. I was having some anxiety and instead of letting it consume me, I sat - then danced. It was exhilarating to change the pattern of energy and feel freedom from the constraints of my crazy brain...It's a shady neighbourhood up there sometimes. But it didn't take long before I was tested again, and again, and again. Circumstances were grim, people were pushing my buttons and there were many days when I felt like I was going to need a ventilator just to get some oxygen in my body. However, I learned something essential to my everyday being. I needed to set myself free.
It started with the sitting, then the breathing and then came the SCREAMING! Yep, calm, cool and collected I can't always be and this was an incredible release of pent up energy. The kind energy that constricts blood vessels, muscles, organs, airways, thoughts - the kind that suffocates. It's like a pressure cooker - it builds and builds until the steam blows the top off. Unless...Unless you let it out through the valve that keeps it from exploding and leaving a disaster of it's contents all over the kitchen walls.
Just like that little valve on the lid of the pressure cooker as it spits and hisses with the contents bubbling up inside, I was sputtering along and finding ways to let the steam out. There was a moment when I finally let it out with that yelp and understood that it was ok to express it in the presence and safety of a friend - exactly what I was feeling.
Keeping thoughts of my experience to myself because they might not be acceptable to someone else, was all consuming and detrimental to my overall state of mind. I am still in awe of how good I feel from letting it out and letting it all go. I clearly understand that becoming a ranting and raving lunatic would be completely unacceptable and could land me in the looney bin but, there is something to be said for telling the Universe that you're done with the bullshit and moving on from it. You know what happens? The Universe responds.
So, there will be days when I sit, breathe, dance and be joyful and there will be others where I kick, scream and be pissed off. And you know what? It's all ok.
September
Eat.Pray. Love.
I went to see Eat, Pray, Love in the theatre the other day. A story based on a woman’s journey of leaving a life where she felt trapped and unfulfilled, into exploration and self discovery. It sounds like a total chick flick, but ahem…guys there’s definitely something in this movie for everyone.
Don’t worry, this is a brief summary and I can promise that I’m not ruining the details for anyone.
From the opening scene to the closing credits, I felt my life resonate with the truths behind the tale. There’s a particular scene where Liz tells her friend that she feels numb inside, so she wants to do something radical and go to Italy, India and Bali over the course of the year. Her friend thinks she’s insane as some would but, I understood the characters plea for a spark to be re-ignited. Much to her friends’ dismay, she ventures off in search of FEELING something…anything - again.
In Italy she finds peace in solitude, laughter with newfound friendships, and pleasure in food. She begins to catch a glimpse of her value and self worth and romances herself. (I miss a few of these details in my own life.)
In India she stays at an Ashram to learn the art of meditation. This proves to be a great challenge for her as she has no idea how to still her mind and focus on one thought, or no thought at all. (Sounds familiar…)
When she arrives in Bali she finally feels balanced and then falls in love. Like most of her previous relationships she immerses herself so deeply that she believes she’s losing her balance and everything that she’s worked so hard to attain. (I too feel like I’m losing myself from time to time.)
I could relate to all of this but not in a romantic way. Some unfinished business has come back to get complete one way or another and I feel like I’m trapped and I feel numb. My first instinct is always to bolt from the “trap” in order to fix it and I typically jump right into another one of some sort. I think I’m fixing it but in reality it’s the same wolf in different clothing.
There are days when I would love to pack it all in and take my defeated sorry ass and weary bones out of this time zone and have a completely new experience. Although the time is drawing near for change – it’s not now and nor is vacationing for a year the answer to my qualms. I need to find my internal India first.
After watching this movie, I was inundated with urges and ideas of how to resolve my situation. All of which were just my natural “flight” instinct. I’ve decided to take a different approach. I’m committed to spending the month of September “quieting my mind”. I’m going within...Calming my thoughts…Shutting up…well not really but shushing just a little. I’m going to learn to be still – if only temporarily – and I’m going to listen to what the Universe has to share.
If I knew what giving up looked like I might consider doing it as that seems easier than being still but, all I would do is start all over again anyway. So I’m going to stick with this and surrender my will to something much bigger than myself. India will turn into…
My Bali. Like Liz, I feel like I’m losing balance but, she does learn that it’s ok to be off kilter sometimes. Life isn’t meant to be balanced as long as we’re connected to source and to self. By recognizing her patterns she was able to give into what she’s always searched for and change the outcome of how it’s always been.
I’m doing things differently too. Internal India first, Bali second, and a whole lot of Italy in-between. I have faith that there will be a different outcome for me as well and a happy one to boot - even if I can't see it yet.
Eat. Pray. Love. It’s so worth it.
The City of Dreams
Los Angeles, California... Marina Del Ray, Venice Beach, Santa Monica, Beverly Hills and of course, Hollywood. We've all heard the songs and seen the movies that make it someplace magical. People trek from across the world hoping to make their lucky break. This is the place where things happen...or they don't.
I'm clearly one of the Hollywood dreamers. Since I was a young girl, I've had stars in my eyes about making it big in the entertainment industry although not necessarily in the public eye. Always believing that I would end up in L.A. one day, I finally went (albeit a holiday) and decided to celebrate my birthday in LA LA Land.
I have to admit, it's a very mesmerizing place. Staying with a friend in Venice Beach, I was neighbouring the famous Santa Monica area where I spent a couple of afternoons people watching at the pier and the promenade. Honestly, I'm a bit of a voyeur and there's something about gazing at another human and trying to capture in a moment what their story might be, that just rocks my soul.
What I did recognize, was that with seeing all of the different people in various states of their lives, it made me very aware of my own thoughts and fears. Being in Tinseltown was exhilirating.It was a tickle and a taste of the possibilities, but it was also terrifying to know that so many others have come to Hollywood with stars in their eyes and have ended up busking along the beach to make a buck or two for their next meal.
Let's be honest... It's just you and me here. To some degree we all have an underlying desire to be discovered in some way. Whether it's for our hidden talent of becoming a human pretzel, an ability to strut down the catwalk flawlessly in stilettos , the way we can pick a guitar like no one else can, or even more simplistically, a pat on the back for a job well done. We want our friends, family and total strangers to see WHO WE ARE - we all want to be discovered. When someone discovers US - we discover ourselves...or is it the other way around? Does it really matter?
So what is it that determines ones success? Two girls set out to become "stars"...One turns out to be Jennifer Aniston and the other is standing on the front entrance of the Venice Beach Freak Show wearing a beaver pelt on her back. They both had the same dream, the same goal and passion but somewhere along the way only one has been catapulted into Super Stardom and the other swims in the sea of Lost Angels. Is it luck? Is it destiny? Or is it hard work, belief and unwavering faith? Maybe it's all of it rolled into one big glorious outcome.
I'm reminded of the movie Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher where one small event can cause re-direction in a persons fate. It makes me wonder if the Universe really works that way or if regardless of what happens along the way, we eventually make it to our desired destination.I don't claim to understand the workings of the world, as it works in mysterious ways and always leaves me in awe.
Although I'm not seeking to be an actor or musician, I have high expectations for myself and I have to ask...What will set me apart from anyone else? What will my trademark be? Is it arrogant to hope that I can set fire in the heart of one person to follow their dreams and live with passion? Who knows...But I'm sure going to enjoy blazing a trail in this crazy landscape of my life and trust that the Universe has my back.
Dream Big
To Be or Not To Be
I read a Facebook status one day that said, "When one is content, nothing phases you". Everything we read and experience is merely our own perception based on our beliefs and programming and that status got me to thinking. What does the word contentment mean to me?
The dictionary definition is "a state of contended, satisfaction, ease of mind". To me when I hear that word I translate it as bored, settled, compromising and ok with the status quo. Anyone that knows me understands that I thrive on a constant state of creating change, I can be content for only a very short period of time - enough time for a rest - then it's up and at 'em!
See, I want to be phased for if i'm not, I'm oblivious to my surroundings. I want the world to keep awakening me to new experiences and moving me forward into new expressions of who I am. Sometimes I'm envious of those that know how to be still - I'm told it can be a very calming experience. Although I take pleasure in the moment of now - briefly - I'm so much of a dreamer that I'm always looking ahead to the next moment. What's next? What can I create? What is possible?
So it would make sense that I'm ready for something new even though I've gone through tonnes of change in the last year. I've teetered on the edge of bankruptcy, almost went into foreclosure and am now working on seeing the light. I've also hated my job and with deep gratitude, have found something that I am passionate about within that same job. My daughter moved out and I lived by myself and FOR myself for the first time in my life and I've just recently shacked up. Thriving on constant change, there's a tickle on the bottoms of my feet to leap onto the next cloud of my dreamy world.
My dad reminds me that the world needs dreamers but everything comes with a cost regardless of which state of being you choose - stillness or movement. Some suggest finding balance between the two. If there's someone out there that has mastered this, please send the step by step manual and hope that I can be still enough to learn it. Remember, if you've read my blogs before, stillness = patience - and it's something that I have to re-learn time and time again.
So, is contentment a state of mind or is it a whisper of the soul to enjoy the moment while you're in it, because it could change in an instant? Who knows? I'm not content with my life (blah) -I'm happy with the excitement and ever changing tides. They are the many moments that capture the bits and pieces that make up the story of me.
May 2010
Chin up!
April was very much of a whirlwind for me. So much has happened in the span of 30 days that I couldn't believe it was already May and I still had some catching up to do!
The first day of April wasn't foolin'...Without expectation, I was plunged into the work that I had been easing myself into and suddenly had HUGE responsibility and it was sink or swim. When my head feels above water if only for a moment, I feel like I'm swimming in the dreams I've held so close to my heart and other times I feel like I'm sinking into an abyss of looming failure.
There seems to be a pattern that I recognize on my part. It's right when I'm on the cusp of success - whether it be big or small - I internally begin to self-sabotage. Then the physical world manifests the people posing as wolves to show me what I'm doing to myself. The more both of our insecurities surface, the stronger the attack and I will readily admit that I've fallen prey to the fear.
It takes a lot of strength and awareness to keep afloat when people would love to see you drown. What saddens me is that in order to bring another to their knees, a person has to feel insanely horrible about who they are and their own lack of faith in their abilities to push forth and carve their own path.
Don't misunderstand what I'm saying...There are no victims and there are no villains. We're merely playing roles in each others lives to help build character for the next adventure that we embark upon. Although there may be days when we feel like this is all there is or it hurts too much and we don't know how it could get better - it does. It does get better and we move onto other things with new people and different landscapes.
What I have been reminded of over this period is to continue believing in myself and to give everything the best that I've got even when it feels like there's nothing left. Because there always is something left and sometimes the second wind is all a person needs to stay in the world of possibilities and see little miracles transpire. Persevere regardless.
April 2010
What Goes Around - Comes Around
I received an email the other day from a reader with some news that one of the businesses on the Dish List had closed down. Typically, I would appreciate the information and remove the listing from the directory, but this time I felt compelled to write about it.
The email had an underlying tone of anger and disappointment to it, and rightfully so. The company will remain unnamed but the nature of the business was in the tanning industry. This isn't an easy industry to be in by any means, high costs of beds, power, lease space and the return is minimal. Never mind, the highly publicized dangers of skin cancer from using tanning beds. I personally have used the beds once or twice a month to keep my eczema under control. UV light does have benefits and I believe that everything is safe in moderation.
What really put me off is that I was in that same salon just a couple of weeks ago. I was going to go for a tan but only had four minutes left. The woman behind the counter looked at me as if to question whether I wanted to buy more. I felt a hesitation, an intuition of sorts and told her that I would come back at another time. She didn't say anything to me, and I wonder if she actually would have taken my money had I decided to buy more minutes.
There was no notice to customers that the salon was closing, leaving many people feeling ripped off and jolted. My question is the integrity that the owners have, or lack thereof. They could have given their customers warning and even refunded their money, as it is supposed to sit in escrow until the minutes they have purchased have been used in full - but they didn't.
I don't know any of the circumstances behind their decision to close the doors. It does make me uneasy that in this day and age we haven't learned a better way of business. I was always taught as a child that honesty was the best policy, although the possible outcome could be scary. At least there is integrity when being truthful.
At the end of the day, I'm sure that it was a difficult decision for them to make. I know that I would have a hard time sleeping at night knowing that I had built a rapport with customers and left them hanging. It's a rotten thing to do, but all business decisions come with consequences and karma guarantees that we all get ours in the end.
Feb '10
Things Left Unsaid
It alarmed me a couple of weeks ago when I had looked in the mirror and seemed unrecognizable to myself. My face was blotchy with eczema on my chin and around my nose. My eyelids were itchy and burned from the allergic reaction I was having to my eye make-up – which I’ve never had before. At my doctor’s appointment back in December, I weighed in at 15lbs over my healthy regular weight. I go from sleepless nights of tossing and turning to what seems like not being able to find enough hours in a day to catch some z’s. I wondered how on earth I had gotten this way, I’d never looked so weathered in my life nor had I felt any worse.
So, this is what I think is the culprit. I’ve spent my whole life being polite to people. I’m far from being a people pleaser but I’ve always been careful not to offend anyone. Regardless of whether I’m telling a story, conversing with a customer or dealing with an uncomfortable situation with friends or family…I’m tactful. The last two years have honestly been in and out of a personal financial and mental hell, and I’ve been polite to those that offer what they believe to be sound advice and kind opinions.
I was nice to everyone. The mortgage company, credit card companies, the well wishers, the advice givers, the positive thinkers and the preachers. Although my situation wasn’t their fault – it was my life after all… I smiled and considered what they said objectively; all the while really just wanting to tell them that this was my reality and all of the positive thinking in the world wasn’t changing a thing. The oddest part of all of this is that I used to be THAT person too and deep down I still am.
I do believe however, that there’s a fine line between being positive and denial of the momentary reality. I know that for myself, I have refused to FEEL the true anger and pain that these last couple of years has brought about and it has manifested in my body physically with weight gain and painful irritated skin. For many generations we’ve been made to believe that showing any unsettling emotion was wrong or offensive, even unhealthy. More recent studies have proven that being more expressive in your emotions is actually better for your health, so maybe it's time to heed their advice.
We’ve all been in situations with our employers, family, friends and even total strangers where we’ve wanted to speak our minds and haven’t – because that would be rude and offensive. Then for some of us, it will eat at us for a day or two, a week and then we think we’ve gotten over it – yet somewhere out of the blue something will trigger us and we’re reminded of that old hurt again. Some people hold onto these feelings for years and in the meantime find little ailments crop up within their bodies. Could these two be directly related? How could it have been different had we spoken our truth in the moment?
How we handle stress can make the difference of a more settled spirit, a quieter mind, and a healthy body. Stress is a major cause of many ailments, but finding a balance is sometimes a feat in its own. We manage a lot of things in day to day life with family and work responsibilities, living up to and even failing at expectations to succeed. How much of our stress is caused by trying to live up to someone else’s idea of who we are or who we think we should be but not who we WANT to be?
Maybe the key is to speak our truth with poise, without sugar coating but without need of being abrasive. I’m pretty sure that my body is mirroring back to me what I have been unwilling to deal with and words that have been left unspoken. It’s my wake up call before something else takes hold and manifests.
I started to have the conversations that were highest on the list and am learning to hold back less and less – and the results…my skin is clearing up and I’ve found the desire to look after myself again. I still have so much to learn…but the perpetual optimist makes her appearance more frequently and with more fervor each time. I’m getting back to that positive and happy person and each time with a better understanding of who I am and how to manage myself.
I believe that we never have a complete understanding of who we are or there would be no purpose in experiencing relationships, hardships, and triumphs. These are all the things that cause us to change and to find deep within ourselves what we are capable of. This is part of our evolution and for me, right now…it starts with one conversation at a time.
Jan 10
Out With The Old & In With The New
The end of the old year and the beginning of a new year has always seemed quite peculiar to me. People by nature are inclined to make resolutions at this time of year more than at any other, and the pressure and expectation to keep them is usually too much to live up to. Fitness centre’s have a surge of new memberships in the new year for most people to give up on their fitness goals when the results don’t come quickly or life interferes. This is a pattern of society, but patterns can be changed. We can still keep our commitments; all we have to do is re-commit.
There’s a book written by Greg S. Reid, called Three Feet From Gold. To sum up the gist of the book, it recognizes how right when we’re on the cusp of something great and achieving our successes most people will give up. Yet they’re right on the verge of the breakthrough that will find them in their glorious achievement – they just can’t see it yet because of external circumstances that challenge their faith.
We’re all challenged every day in different situations – work, relationships, health, and finances, you name it and we all have them. It’s finding the courage to stick with it when we really want to throw in the towel. I think an important factor to begin with is to identify what motivates you. What if we were motivated by lifelong health and strength above being thin and toned for a beach holiday? Would our results come more quickly or would it even matter as long as we were dedicating ourselves to the overall picture of health? Would we quit and become less frustrated if we kept our eye on the big picture instead of the short term goal?
Maybe we just need to be more flexable in our approach to attaining the results...
Many relationships work the same way we either go for the short term return or reap what we sow by committing to thick or thin. There will always be things throughout the course of it that will cause a person to re-evaluate their position. There’s the excitement of starting something new, the fun in getting to know each other, then there may be a few disappointments, and even heart breaking events, but the couples that have managed to spend a lifetime together have re-committed time and time again when they’ve wanted to walk away. They’ve decided that giving up isn’t an option and that compromise is key.
I’m guilty for wanting to give up when I don’t see results or when things aren’t going according to MY plan. Unfortunately or fortunately, here is no crystal ball that I can look through to see how things will turn out. Maybe, it’s about having faith and doing my part in the grand scheme of it all.
I’ve been looking at “resolutions” and I’m resolving to re-commit (again and again) to my overall health, happiness, and success in my career, life, and love. I'm also learning to compromise and not be so rigid in the way that I respond. After all, I may only be three feet from GOLD.
Dec 09
Goals - Plans - Hopes
Last month I introduced you to my friend Lars Callieou, a local comedian whom has opened for the likes of Martin Short, Joan Rivers and performed in front of Bill Gates. Lars has been an inspiration for me and many others over the years with his love of comedy. When we first met he was doing stand-up and working a full time corporate job. His tenacity, courage and desire to live his dream pushed him through some long, tough days to finally reach a point where he could put the suit away and hit the road full time.
As I was perusing his myspace page, I found something from the summer of '08 that I asked if I could share with my readers. Give it a read and you can click on the link to continue on.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Blog subject - Doing the right thing... from the start
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
I love the creative process of comedy. I wish it came as easily for me as it did for Sean Lecomber but I'm sure there are a lot of comedians who feel that way. I love having an idea strike me as funny… taking the premise to the stage and having it work the first time… often because of how enthusiastic you are about telling a new joke you believe in. Then having it fall flat a few times after that. Re-working and polishing it… playing with the idea and trying different tags. Editing out unnecessary words and changing the timing. How long is the rest between the set up and the punchline… how many beats do you wait to deliver the last line? Moving it a half a second either way can make all the difference. This analogy came to mind… but I don't believe any of my material would qualify as a work of art.
I wonder how a great sculpter looks at a block of stone. Does he see the masterpiece and simply release it from the excess granite? Does he have an idea and then look for the right stone to mould into what he sees in his imagination? I think it would be amazing to watch the process… see the figure take shape. Witnessing a real artist work and create... would be incredible.
Comedy isn't quite as pretty during the creation of new material. It's often painful to watch new jokes take shape. From a formless hunk of rock to a nice chunk of material. It takes time… and effort. I've often said building an act is like panning for gold. Go down to the river every day… and you'll find a nugget sooner or later. Put it in a pile behind you and continue working. Eventually… you'll have a pile of material that could be… and should be… gold. In 5 years of doing comedy I've written thousands of jokes… a few are good… a few are hacky but they're all mine. If I worked with a comedian who had a joke similar to something I was working on (or heard something similar)… I dropped the bit. I wrote a joke 3 years ago that went:
If the US wants our flu vaccine… they can have one vial for every cow they buy.
I worked with Andrew Carr (writer for Corner Gas) and he had a joke that was WAY better:
Sure the US can have our flu vaccine. Tell them we've injected it all into our beef.
After seeing his… my joke never saw the light of day again. John Beuhler had a joke about the date rape drug that was similar to a joke I was telling… I told him about my idea and dropped the bit forever (he said I didn't have to… but for my own piece of mind… I did). Continued...
November 2009
It's In The Magic
I’ve never been a very patient person. From the time I was a small child, I could never fully comprehend why things couldn’t appear instantaneously from the moment the thought had entered my mind. If there was something I wanted - I wanted it now. In my mind I conceived it, therefore there had to be a way to make it happen and I usually found it. The tenacity of that young girl has remained present throughout the years, but many lessons have been handed to me to learn patience and to understand that sometimes waiting is necessary.
As children we’re still innocent and we have yet to be programmed to believe anything other than what we feel inside as truth. We believe in a magical world where we have powers to transform ourselves into kings, queens, superheroes, and rock stars. We believe that there really is a tooth fairy, Easter bunny and yes a Santa Claus – that is until someone tells us differently. In the moment that we’re told these things aren’t real, our world shatters just a little bit and we begin to learn how to doubt. The rest of our lives are spent trying to find ways to recapture and hold onto that magic.
Every night before bed I have a little chat with The Universe to get things straight in my head and to complete my day. Lately, I’ve been feeling a change in the air for me, and although I have a few suspicions it’s not completely certain as to what those changes will be. In my conversation with Source, I declared that I was ready for what was next after a long year of events that have held me captive in doubt. There was a powerful feeling accompanying those words, one that has been absent for a long time. I felt light and free as I began to imagine what life could look like on the other side of this reality. I remembered how to dream again and it felt that I had returned to the heart of me – back to believing in magic.
Magic…It’s where all possibilities exist. It wisps its way through life to make dreams manifest and if you look close enough you can see bits of it in the least expected of places. It might not happen with the wave of a wand or in the way you expect it to take form, but it’s always present. Sometimes...most times, it's elusive and is working behind the scenes when we have other things going on.
I have learned that patience is a virtue for life to work its magic. That wanting something is merely the first seed of thought and the feeling and the dreaming of it is our contribution to it's creation. There is no particular formula or potion – all we have to do is believe in it with the innocence of a child and the maturity to understand that some things take time.
October 2009
FAITH
What is it and how does it work? I've asked myself those questions time and time again in my life, and at various times have seen it take a different form but always the same energy. I think faith is a very personal belief. Whether it be in a higher power, science, or in self - it's something that is very real.
With all of the changes that I've been experiencing lately, it's been important to hold onto my faith. Now I'm not a religious person but I believe that there is a higher power and collective energy working with me. I have faith in myself and that everything is always as it should be - even when it's not how I want it to be. I'm surrounded by great people who's idol of faith may be somewhat different, but we all call upon that same energy from the deepest aspect of our soul. It carries us through difficult moments.
There have been times when my faith has wavered and I've asked "Why", simply because I've lost site of the process. It means having trust when we're unsure of what's to come. Life is full of uncertainty. My daughter just left the nest this week, and we're both experiencing a lot of "firsts". This is the first time we've both been on our own. It's a bit scary and very exciting at the same time but there is a knowing that we'll both be more than fine.
Whatever it is for you, count on it when you can count on nothing else. Sometimes it's all we've got and sometimes it's all we need.
September '09
Changes
One thing I'm sure about is change. It's constant and guaranteed. We've all heard the saying "some things never change...", but I disagree. We may be resistant to it but it's inevitable. We age, our bodies firm up or gravity takes it's toll, ideas and ideals change, seasons change and it's all happening whether we go with the flow or resist it.
Admittedly, I've been resistant to some changes that are necessary for me to move onto something new in my life. I have been holding on to ideas that no longer serve me and have kept me stuck. There are many reasons why I have been doing so; fear of the unknown, stubbornness - having to prove to myself that I can accomplish certain things on my own and even to my own detriment. It's actually hurting me to be attached to how I think something should be.
A wise woman told me just a few days ago, that there will be many mountains for me to climb and that not all of them are meant to be conquered. I will make it to the top of some and have that 360 degree view of my success, but there will be many where I will turn around and go back down before I can make it to the top. It wasn't meant to be and it's okay. Learning to accept that I didn't make it up the mountain is the hardest part, but I'm getting there.
I'm being reminded that when I am able to allow change to move freely through life, miracles happen. The dam has been removed for the river to flow and learning to swim with the current instead of against it is a much more peaceful place to be. Although I wouldn't mind a raft from time to time... :)
August 2009
Passion
I recently attended a wine tasting hosted by a friend.The woman presenting the wine inherited her newfound passion of wine making when her father passed away a year and a half ago. Her story of this journey was amazing and heartfelt by all those in attendance. Yet, as we all enjoyed the evening, I became profoundly aware of the things that the guests were individually passionate about.
One of them is a world renowned astrologist. An alarmingly striking woman, she has been in astrology for over 30 years and she speaks of it as though it's her greatest love. We were all entranced by her presence and energy as she spoke.
Another friend, unbeknownst to herself, has this incredible zest for cleaning of all things!! She's always offering to clean everyone's home and she loves it! Her laughter is contagious and you'd want to have her over to clean just so you could drink in some of that energy.
In this economy many of us are looking for ways to get the bills paid and stay afloat. What became recognizable to me while I was writing my interview with Mike Anderson of Trixstar Productions (Trish's Dishin'), was that all of these people are living in truth. They are genuinely passionate about what they do and it has become part of who they are. Whether it's in business or in play, that's the key to success.
In tough economic times we're forced to become resourceful and tap into our creativity. Many great entrepreneurs are born from recessions. They take something that they're passionate about and turn it into something lucrative. New ways of doing things are created and we head into an evolution revolution.
If you ask many successful people what they're secret is to their business, they tell you that what they do isn't work. Most recently, a friend of mine was able to quit his corporate day job to fulfill his dream of becoming a full time comedian. Brilliant! He tells me that if he could do it, anyone can.
I applaud all of you that are living your dreams and taking the leaps and bounds to success. It all comes when we're having fun. :)
July 2009
Come Together
It’s in my nature to find ways of building partnerships and allies in business and in life. I have always believed that we can be stronger and more efficient when we team up with each other and use our talents and skills to compliment the process in achieving an outstanding result.
Over the years I’ve witnessed some sneaky ways that people attempt to gain clients and scoop business from the competition or even from within their own companies. It’s shooting themselves in the foot and although it’s no longer surprising to see that, it still seems unacceptable. Business should be earned on our own conscious efforts and merit, because at the end of the day, how we interact in business is simply an expression of ourselves.
The purpose behind Trish’s Dish is to help build partnerships by networking people that are conscious in business, to assist people in seeing how we can be of service to each other and build alliances to grow our companies. When we become aware of how we interact and contribute to our customers, to the community, and the environment we stop spinning our wheels and create real opportunity.
It’s important to stay within our integrity. I’ve been asked in my own “job” to do things that are out of alignment with who I am and what I represent, but it’s up to me to choose who I am in that moment. One should always do their best and be willing to grow, but compromising ones integrity shouldn’t be a job requirement.
We can change the way we do things. We have evolved and we continue to do so. Take a look at the businesses in your community and see what everyone is up to, and adopt some of the behaviors that you admire. Try it on for size…it just might fit and begin to create positive changes within your business.
June 2009
Fear is the number one thing that stops us from moving forward in our lives. It can stop us in our tracks like deer caught in a headlight and we hesitate in making decisions for fear of the
unknown.
I’ve had numerous conversations this month where this is the reason people stay stuck in unhealthy relationships, continue to plug away for an employer that is unappreciative of their efforts, or hesitate in making a leap for their dreams because of this invader of hope.
In my experience when I’ve been fearful of making a change, it’s been at the most required time to do so. Time and time again I’ve looked it in the eye as if it were this masked villain in the grand scheme of my life, but what I’ve learned over the years is that this villain is opportunity for my dreams coming into actualization.
I used to find every excuse under the sun for why I couldn’t BE or DO what I wanted to. I wasn’t smart enough, talented enough, financially stable enough…You get the picture, and it may even sound familiar. But the discovery of examining fear is that in the moment that it’s present, we can look and move through it to the other side and experience ourselves in a new way. These are the moments when we build our self esteem and stretch our self imposed boundaries to create a new definition of who we are.
There are real fears that we need to be conscious of, like the bear in the woods where we visit or the fear of falling. However, the fears of there not being enough money, time and resources, those are all illusions. At the end of the day, we need to evaluate if it's life threatening, and if that’s not the case then we can learn to embrace the fear as a moment of truth and use our courage to move through it.
We don’t know what’s on the other side, but that’s the adventure! Enjoy the rush!
The Magicnicity system offers a unique and amazing approach to creating the life you desire. Wayne Lee uses his background in hypnosis to assist you in removing fear and self doubt; and to stay focused on your dreams, goals and intentions.” ~ James Arthur Ray
Andre Philippe Gagnon
Impressionist Extraordinaire!
Perks of the job I do now!
This month I’ve been tossing around ideas of what to write about, and thought that maybe it would be appropriate for me to write about my personal experiences with business and the economy since we're all feeling the pinch.
I’ve always been an entrepreneur at heart and started a few projects only to watch them flop. However, as a true entrepreneur I’d pick myself up and move onto the next project… that was until I closed the doors on my business in August of 2008. In partnership with two others, we couldn’t see the business through due to financial difficulties. Closing the doors was heartbreaking but also an opportunity to new endeavors, although I couldn’t see it at the time. I was heavily in personal and business debt and couldn’t see a way out.
I needed a job, any job and as it turns out I took one that I felt was a complete setback. As a kid my first job was in the food and beverage industry and I continued along that path until I was in my early 20’s. It was good to get into sales, I felt more grown up taking a step in a different direction. So, in taking a position as food and beverage supervisor, it felt like I was that kid again. I had worked too hard to fail… Why was I here?
I have a coaching background so I know that energy goes where attention flows, but for some reason I couldn’t help myself. I sunk into a mild depression and couldn’t keep my head up to see the light. Bill collectors were calling and I was barely making my mortgage with no food in my fridge except sour milk and a freezer burned pizza. I became a master at making everything look good on the outside, but internally there was a battle going on. I knew better. I knew that I had to believe that I could do anything, that I could get through this and yet there was this masochistic side that wanted to punish myself for failing.
Personally, I believe that everyone should have a coach – even a coach should have a coach…Someone to rally around when you need a kick in the pants and not feel sorry for your situation. And as a coach I felt like a fraud for not being able to practice what I teach, so I took time away from it. My dreams seemed to be falling apart and I needed to regroup and get my head on straight.
It took some time and some hard work but, with the right support and encouragement I began to rebuild faith in myself and return to what I know for sure. I know that nothing has meaning except the meaning we give it – therefore I am NOT a failure. Returning to an Attitude of Gratitude was KEY to turning things around. Being grateful for what I have - not sorry for what I don't have. So starting from the job as a Food & Beverage Supervisor in which I was promoted to Food & Beverage Sales within the first 3 months - I began to count my blessings. This 'job' has also enabled me to discover new strengths, and see new dreams evolve from the experience. It also has some really great perks! It’s helped to bring clarity to what I want and it most certainly sparked the inspiration for Trish’s Dish!
It’s important to get clear on a situation and see that our circumstances do not define who we are, but they can assist us in defining who we want to be. We are responsible for how we are BEING, always. In all adversity there is a gift, there is opportunity and what appears to be a breakdown is actually a breakthrough; it takes us on a journey of discovery.
Closing the doors on my business was the best thing that could have happened to me. It challenged my beliefs, and made me re-evaluate my dreams. Everything I’ve learned about being a coach is a great compliment to what I do next, it doesn’t have to be the ONLY thing that I choose to do. Everything that we learn only adds value to our future. Although I’m not out of the woods financially, things are turning around and now with the right frame of mind and gumption to keep on - failing isn't an option.
This economy bites, hard. However, this economy is also providing us with amazing opportunities to re-create. It's important to remember that what can make a difference in a situation is how we are responding to it - that's what truly creates the outcome.
I remember a simple saying - Carpe Diem - meaning Seize the Day! Wishing for all of you to appreciate the moment you're in.
In Gratitude for your support!
April 2009
Yep. Everyone is STILL talking about it. That's right, so here we go....
Surprisingly, there are many companies of all sizes cutting back on services and increasing the cost of their product. The consensus seems to be that there isn’t enough spending right now - that there is lack, which is only partially true.
This is a time in our economy where we’re all making decisions on how to save money and where to spend the money we have. Although some people and businesses have felt the cutbacks, generally speaking most people are still making the salaries they were before; they’re just more conscious about where they choose to spend their hard earned dollars. And for those that have to dig a little deeper in their pockets, they’re decisions are weighed even more heavily.
During a Saturday stroll, I stopped into a high end purse retailer and found a beautiful high quality leather bag with a lifetime warranty. Guess the price…$478! That was a little steep for me but my curiosity got the best of me. So, one week later I went into the store again to look at the same bag and they were sold out - there were only two left in all of Canada! It seems that shoppers for Valentine’s Day cleared out the highly coveted leather bag, which had found its way into the hands of many lucky women.
I was watching and listening while I was in that store, and what this store offers is a high quality product with outstanding staff that haven’t cut a single corner in their customer service. As the lady waits for her new purchase, she’s educated by one sales person on the care of her purse, while another sales person carefully wraps the bag in its own protective cover, then in monogrammed tissue paper, a large pink monogrammed box and finally into a gold color monogrammed paper shopping bag. Elaborate…Possibly. Catering to the customer...Absolutely! When the customer is walking out of the store with that wonderful little treasure, she feels like a QUEEN!
There just might be a nugget of gold in this marketing angle…
For those of us that are business owners, we should be encouraged to find ways to retain the clients that have been loyal during periods of growth - they do after all create the best advertising – word of mouth. Imagine, if you were a customer in that store and the quality of the service and the product was below par, you can bet your bottom dollar you would tell EVERYONE that would listen of your unhappiness, and the likelihood of returning almost nil. Think back to a similar incident. How many people do you think were influenced by your word? Before that business has an opportunity to tap into your network, it’s already lost. Did you know that it costs 6 to 10 times more money to gain new clients than it does to retain the ones we have?
When you have a satisfied client, you have their unwavering support and repeat business and they're sure to refer clients to you. These are the clients everyone wants. The ones that absolutely refuse to take their business elsewhere for their loyalty is so strong, it feels like absolute betrayal to buy from the competition.
Business is similar to an intimate relationship. If we neglect the relationship to our customer or leave them feeling ripped off in any way, rebuilding trust is a long and costly process. When our customers refer friends and family to us, it's because the level of trust is strong, and they have faith that they'll be well looked after.
The customer has done a lot of "dating" to finally arrive at a decision to commit to us. So, it's absolutely necessary to nurture these relationships with the consciousness of being in a marriage. There are growing pains and learning curves while you both change and grow, but it's a good investment to make and now is as good a time as any.
In every crisis there is opportunity. This is an opportunity to "be" in "relationship" to our clients and their needs.
March '09
Everyone’s talking about it. We read it in the paper; hear it on the news, it’s the conversation during coffee … We’re experiencing a major economic crisis. I have to wonder though, is it really a crisis, or is it a collective consciousness of fear. Not everyone is suffering, and the ones that are still doing well don’t even entertain the idea of “tough times”, this is opportunity.
In the past few years we were experiencing a huge boom, where bidding wars for a home became a sport and many paid more than asking price. Jobs were plentiful and employers were willing to pay double the regular wage or salary to have you on board. You didn’t even require the proper skill set to attain the job! It was a saturated employees market, where the business simply came to you with little to no effort.
There was an excess in luxury with even teenagers driving BMW’s and Escalades, people becoming walking billboards for brand names, toys, toys and more toys! We’ve worked ourselves around the clock, chased dreams, sacrificed time, health, and relationships and many feel defeated, exhausted, and anxious. The list is endless.
Now we’re all on a level playing field. The corporate culture is about to shift gears and none too soon. This is a competitive market and we all have the opportunity to gain the business with some hard work, creativity, and fostering sustainable relationships with our clients and co-workers.
Yes, there is a reality of economic hardship and the effects are staggering, but this is like wiping the slate clean – time for a fresh start. We get to choose again. We can choose to perpetuate the fear by mumbling about the economy and spiralling with anxiety or we can find something positive and focus on the possibilities.
In all aspects of our lives we can return to a sense of community and learn to rely on each other for support and motivation. We’re not meant to be alone in this world. We’re wired for social connection and development and maybe now is the time to get back reconnecting.
There is opportunity everywhere.
Feb '09
Things are changing in the world as we know it right now. We’re experiencing some interesting times and I know that for me this has been a somewhat challenging time in building business. In the business of sales, I was never comfortable with cold calling, it’s awkward and lacks warmth – hence the term. I’ve been to many networking events over the years and feel that although they have their place and can be fun, it’s still a close second to cold calling. We all swap cards then afterwards try to remember who this person was then we have to COLD CALL them to follow up.
Did you know that with cell phones, social networks like Facebook, My Space and Twitter, we’re no longer six degrees of separation from each other – it’s more like 2 degrees!!! It's amazing to see how interconnected we are!
This site was created as a one stop site for products and services by a referral system with reviews and features to assist people in feeling comfortable with choosing a business that their own friends and family are happy with! And in turn it helps each other grow our own business - by referral!
All of your referrals and recommendations are appreciated.
