Trish's Dish Dishin' the Goods!

I don't need my child to be a measure of my value.

Moi.

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Eat.Pray. Love.

I went to see Eat, Pray, Love in the theatre the other day. A story based on a woman’s journey of leaving a life where she felt trapped and unfulfilled, into exploration and self discovery. It sounds like a total chick flick, but ahem…guys there’s definitely something in this movie for everyone.

Don’t worry, this is a brief summary and I can promise that I’m not ruining the details for anyone.

From the opening scene to the closing credits, I felt my life resonate with the truths behind the tale. There’s a particular scene where Liz tells her friend that she feels numb inside, so she wants to do something radical and go to Italy, India and Bali over the course of the year. Her friend thinks she’s insane as some would but, I understood the characters plea for a spark to be re-ignited. Much to her friends’ dismay, she ventures off in search of FEELING something…anything - again.

In Italy she finds peace in solitude, laughter with newfound friendships, and pleasure in food. She begins to catch a glimpse of her value and self worth and romances herself. (I miss a few of these details in my own life.)

In India she stays at an Ashram to learn the art of meditation. This proves to be a great challenge for her as she has no idea how to still her mind and focus on one thought, or no thought at all. (Sounds familiar…)

When she arrives in Bali she finally feels balanced and then falls in love. Like most of her previous relationships she immerses herself so deeply that she believes she’s losing her balance and everything that she’s worked so hard to attain. (I too feel like I’m losing myself from time to time.)

I could relate to all of this but not in a romantic way. Some unfinished business has come back to get complete one way or another and I feel like I’m trapped and I feel numb. My first instinct is always to bolt from the “trap” in order to fix it and I typically jump right into another one of some sort. I think I’m fixing it but in reality it’s the same wolf in different clothing.

There are days when I would love to pack it all in and take my defeated sorry ass and weary bones out of this time zone and have a completely new experience. Although the time is drawing near for change – it’s not now and nor is vacationing for a year the answer to my qualms. I need to find my internal India first.

After watching this movie, I was inundated with urges and ideas of how to resolve my situation. All of which were just my natural “flight” instinct. I’ve decided to take a different approach. I’m committed to spending the month of September “quieting my mind”. I’m going within...Calming my thoughts…Shutting up…well not really but shushing just a little. I’m going to learn to be still – if only temporarily – and I’m going to listen to what the Universe has to share.

If I knew what giving up looked like I might consider doing it as that seems easier than being still but, all I would do is start all over again anyway. So I’m going to stick with this and surrender my will to something much bigger than myself. India will turn into…

My Bali. Like Liz, I feel like I’m losing balance but, she does learn that it’s ok to be off kilter sometimes. Life isn’t meant to be balanced as long as we’re connected to source and to self. By recognizing her patterns she was able to give into what she’s always searched for and change the outcome of how it’s always been.

I’m doing things differently too. Internal India first, Bali second, and a whole lot of Italy in-between. I have faith that there will be a different outcome for me as well and a happy one to boot - even if I can't see it yet.

Eat. Pray. Love. It’s so worth it.